I detest chocolate.
Okay, just kidding; that is a little extreme. I just wanted to get your attention. But………I really don’t love it all that much. I guess that makes me an anomaly among women.
I was thinking about this earlier as I was consuming a bag of – are you ready – Limited Edition COCONUT M&Ms. They are still the familiar, colorful-shelled little candy treats they have always been, but this variety has a hint of coconut flavor.
I was practically salivating with anticipation as I tore open the wrapper; for the moment all my mind was focused solely on a single concept. Coconut. Coconut, in all its milky white glory. These were definitely going to be the pièce de résistance of M&MS.
My first thought was “Wow, this is good…..but it would be WAY better without the chocolate”. I actually forgot for a moment that M&Ms have a chocolate center. That was my moment of epiphany.
Women are purported to worship chocolate, right? It's programmed into our genetic code or something. It is supposed to be our go-to fare when we break up with a boyfriend, get laid off from a job, have a fender-bender or break a nail. So really, just where do I get off being apathetic to chocolate?
It seems like whenever I encounter a female friend who is having a ‘day’, she will look at me and say conspiratorially “I would kill for a piece of chocolate right now”, incorrectly assuming that I wholeheartedly share the sentiment. I usually smile blankly and nod in feigned agreement.
You see, when I am upset and am seeking comfort, I turn first to Haagen Dazs’s Sticky Toffee Pudding. If that is not available, then I will welcome anything with cinnamon, vanilla, caramel or brown sugar (or better yet, a combination of ALL of those delectable ingredients). I have been this way since I was a child and I am not going to change now.
So…at the risk of losing the respect of women the world over….or at least the two or three who might actually see this post, I am declaring my independence and stating out loud what I have always secretly felt:
Chocolate is just OKAY. Yeah, I went there.