Friday, August 7, 2009

SO SUE ME........

I detest chocolate.

Okay, just kidding; that is a little extreme. I just wanted to get your attention. But………I really don’t love it all that much. I guess that makes me an anomaly among women.

I was thinking about this earlier as I was consuming a bag of – are you ready – Limited Edition COCONUT M&Ms. They are still the familiar, colorful-shelled little candy treats they have always been, but this variety has a hint of coconut flavor.

I was practically salivating with anticipation as I tore open the wrapper; for the moment all my mind was focused solely on a single concept. Coconut. Coconut, in all its milky white glory. These were definitely going to be the pièce de résistance of M&MS.

Except….

My first thought was “Wow, this is good…..but it would be WAY better without the chocolate”. I actually forgot for a moment that M&Ms have a chocolate center. That was my moment of epiphany.

Women are purported to worship chocolate, right? It's programmed into our genetic code or something. It is supposed to be our go-to fare when we break up with a boyfriend, get laid off from a job, have a fender-bender or break a nail. So really, just where do I get off being apathetic to chocolate?

It seems like whenever I encounter a female friend who is having a ‘day’, she will look at me and say conspiratorially “I would kill for a piece of chocolate right now”, incorrectly assuming that I wholeheartedly share the sentiment. I usually smile blankly and nod in feigned agreement.

You see, when I am upset and am seeking comfort, I turn first to Haagen Dazs’s Sticky Toffee Pudding. If that is not available, then I will welcome anything with cinnamon, vanilla, caramel or brown sugar (or better yet, a combination of ALL of those delectable ingredients). I have been this way since I was a child and I am not going to change now.

So…at the risk of losing the respect of women the world over….or at least the two or three who might actually see this post, I am declaring my independence and stating out loud what I have always secretly felt:

Chocolate is just OKAY. Yeah, I went there.

2 comments:

  1. Don't fret. Chocolate is not my primary comfort food either. I like chocolate, but I would only pick it over a blueberry scone if it was in the form of a baked good, like a brownie, or chocolate eclair. See--even there--chocolate eclair--there's a lot more to that baked good than just the chocolate. A big part of the enjoyment for me is that lovely chewy, carb-laden texture. Mmmm...it's a good thing I had zucchini bread and not cereal for breakfast, or I'd be having some serious cravings right about now. Don't get me wrong, I could still go for an Edie's chocolate chip cookie, but the zucchini bread will carry me through. Chewy carbs, you know.

    All that to say you haven't lost my respect. And it makes perfect sense that you would prefer those other flavors. Your house most often smells like some delicious combination of sweetness and spices, does it not? Yes, it makes perfect sense.

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  2. You know, I have been wracking my little brain, trying to think of what my bestest comfort food is. And honestly, I can't pin it down. Yeah, I like a good chocolate now and then, but I mostly hate American chocolate. It is so sugar-laden, you can't taste the chocolate. What's the point?

    I think what I yearn for in times of stress is sugar or maybe good, crusty bread.

    I had most of my favorite foods this weekend: pizza, breadsticks, peanut butter M&Ms, fruit salad, Towana's garden salad, shrimp cocktail. But nothing strikes me as my all-time favorite comfort food.

    I'm going to go with ice cream. Cold, sweet, creamy, precious ice cream. It has brought me through many a rough spot. Now the rub is deciding what kind I like/"need" best. Oh darn, maybe I'll have to go to the ice cream shop and figure it out.

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